After Hours

Johnny Hallyday & Sylvie Vartan. J'ai un problème

OK, it's official. This is the worst music video I've seen in years. What's the problème with it? Well, it hilariously undermines the song's intent with its total fakeness, and it's also really boring. Johnny (born Jean-Philippe Smet) and his lady lurv, Sylvie, race through the countryside on Johnny's "motorcycle," professing their love for each other in song. Every time Johnny turns around to sing to her, I want to shout, "Keep your eyes on the road!!" Audio-wise, we have the song itself, which gets some serious competition from the motorcycle-revving sound effects. And then there's the wind machine. Put it all together and it adds up to perfect cheese. You know, back in 1965, Hallyday and Vartan hooked up, got hitched and even bore young together. For a while they were quite the golden couple, but they experienced a Burt Reynolds-Loni Anderson-style breakup and finally de-hitched in 1980. It's nice to know that before their divorce, they were able to make one of the worst videos of all time.