The Pride

Well folks, once again the Gay Pride Parade has marched through Belltown with all the fabulousness it could muster. I believe this is the third year (or is it the fourth?) since it moved down from Capitol Hill. The difference between those previous years is this:

There were oodles of people! Millions of them! Well, actually, probably several thousand.

It started out loudly with the Dykes on Bykes. Or is that Dikes on Bikes? Or perhaps some mix of the two. They were very loud. And they rode around forever. But heck, they seemed to be having fun and the crowd was into it, so more power to them. Here is about the only good photo I got of them:

Did I mention they were loud? They were. There were also guys riding with them, so it wasn't a total, complete and utter lesbian thing. After them came the gay marching band:

You'll be shocked to know that they played a Madonna song. They were actually not bad in both playing and marching. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence followed:


I have no idea what these people do and I'm afraid to ask, but they seem to be really into it - whatever it is.

This parade had about two dozen grand marshals. This is the only one whose name I recognized:

Excuse the bad picture, but that's Armistad Maupin of Tales of the City fame.

Following him and his many other co-marshals came the endless corporate juggernaut:

Proud Group Health folks...

Proud Microsoft folks - with truck...

Proud Verizon folks - with mini-float...

Proud Macy's folks; they had cool balloons...

Proud Amazon folks; they had semi-frightening box-people with them...

Proud Best Buy folks...

Proud Orbitz folks...


Proud Alaska folks and their friendly balloon.

And then I left. What I learned here today: you can't spell pride without PR. OK, it's nice that corporations are willing to sponsor their employees in the parade, but you know that it's not really about tolerance and whatnot; it's about image. Yeah, that's America, sure. But isn't the Pride more about happy gay people and not about corporate logos? Anyhow, that was this year's parade.

Totally Gay!

OK, so today was the Gay Pride Parade. And there was no reason to miss it since it was all happening over on 4th Avenue. Today's weather was dull and uneventful by conducive enough for all kinds of gayness. Here's an interesting thing:

This guy's name is Seattle Gay News - just like the newspaper. What are the odds of that?? I'd say astronomical! Anyhow, there were also furries:

There was a dog, but I got no good shots of him. There was a "Gay Idol" float:

I'm sure a lot of people put in many hours to build this contraption, but it looked like it was gonna collapse at any moment. There was also a gay fire engine...

...lots of rainbow balloon configurations such as, for example, this:

There was an entire truckload of sex-people with whom you'd probably never want to have sex:

There was a gay bagpipe band...

...proud leather people...

and the drag version of The Wiz:


I'm pretty sure everybody wanted to be Diana Ross. And finally, there was an outfit calling itself "The Gay Team." Get it?? If you do, that probably means you're gay:


And I left soon after that. I missed the rollerskating penis this year. But the motorcycle-riding gorilla almost made up for it:

All in all, the motorcycle display was loud and pointless, but this guy made it worthwhile. He even did tricks! Anyway, this year was just as good as last year, except the weather was worse. But be proud, gay people! That's the point of the whole weekend, isn't it?

Pa-ride Pa-rade

When you're as miserable as I am, one way to cheer up is to hang out with thousands of happy gay people. It didn't work, but I took photos.

A few years ago, the Pride Parade moved from Capitol Hill to Belltown. It really sparked a lot of controversy at the time. After all, Capitol Hill has a thriving gay community and Belltown does not. I don't even think Belltown has a single gay bar. But it does have a fine parade thoroughfare in the form of 4th Avenue, so who's gonna let something minuscule like a complete lack of gay culture stand in the way? In retrospect, I think it was a good idea to come down to hideous Belltown. It greatly increases the visibility of the event, plus it doesn't totally snarl up traffic like the old parade down Broadway did. But today, yes, there was pride all over the place. There was also much, much shirtlessness, but that sort of thing is to be expected. Here are some pictures:

Proud gay rainbow flags...

...proud gay softball float...

...proud gay Vikings...

...proud gay schoolbus...

...proud gay outdoor people...

...proud gay political pandering...

...more proud gay political pandering..."Medved" means "bear" in Russian...

...proud gay bears..."Bear" means "medved" in English...

...proud gay good-time blasphemy...

...more proud gay good-time blasphemy...

...proud femmes...

...proud pansexual Flying Spaghetti Monster, and lastly, what pride parade would be complete without a giant rollerskating penis?

This guy was really tough to photograph because every time he stopped, people would run out of the crowd, hug him and get their pictures taken. Luckily, I have some leftover cell video footage of him from last year's parade - oh, and there's also some dork on a Segway:

It must be nice to be that popular.

So no, seeing all these happy gay people didn't make me gay. It also didn't make me happy. Sorry, it doesn't work that way. I still like girls. Girls don't like me. And that is at the epicenter of my whole predicament.