Resistance Is Futile

Once upon a time, a child was born. This child was like any other child, laughing when happy and crying when sad or excessively gassy. Years passed and the child grew up and acquired knowledge, eventually deciding to pursue a degree in architecture. The child, now an adult, graduated from an accredited university, entered the world and found a job. After several years of satisfactory work, the former child was given the job of designing a building for the phone company. Here are the results:



The result is one of the most ghastly buildings in the city. It's so cold and devoid of any charm that I have to remind myself that it was conceived of by a human being who had human emotions and not some random robot who taught itself computer-aided design. To make matters worse, this building is on my block. Officially, it's called 120 Lenora (for that is its address although it stands squarely at the corner of 2nd & Lenora), but is alternately known as the Qwest Building (not to be confused with the Qwest Plaza Building at 1600 7th Ave. in downtown). Its 14 floors house a whole array of phone equipment. I can understand the functional nature of the building's design; it contains mostly electronic phone-switching guts and only a few people to do the machines' bidding. But does it have to be reduced to sheer functionality? Does it have to be so lacking in appeal? Does it have to look like a Borg ship made of bricks? Do we have a choice? No - and resistance is futile, by the way.

Seriously, it looks poised to blast off from its moorings to go assimilate parts of the galaxy. There is no stranger building in Belltown or elsewhere in Seattle than the Qwest Building. It's just there - and that's about it. It is tremendously ugly, but it doesn't matter. Beauty is not part of its directive.

Another item worthy of note is that this building also displays some of the worst public art of all time - brick murals of Seattle sights and history. I've been walking past these street-level panels for 19 years now and I'm constantly surprised at how ultra-dreadful they are. You can be damn sure that I'll write a lot about them in the future.

The Ugliest Building in Belltown

Yes, sweet people, there are many ugly buildings in Belltown. I just thought it would be best to start at the top.

Every time I walk or drive past this brick-plated eyesore, I just have to stop and gape at its sheer lack of aesthetics. There is, in short, absolutely nothing appealing about this building - well aside from the fact that it's a 20-second walk to the fabulous 5 Point Cafe. This monstrosity doesn't even seem to belong in this country, but it would fit quite nicely into bleaker parts of Europe from downtown Croydon to suburban Bucharest. I actually pity the people who live here.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the ugliest building in Belltown!

Here's the front:


Doesn't it make a cloudy day seem downright gloomy?

Here's the back:

Yeah, I know, it looks just like the front. It's like somebody put a 19th-century Victorian factory on its side and just left it there.

There really are windows back there. They just direct you to look out where there's nothing to see.

There's just one more picture to add. It's a shot of the clunky elevator assembly looming over the far-more-pleasing Stonecliff Apartments:

You know, it's just a short step from functional to butt-ugly. The Bayview Tower takes it even beyond that. Frankly, I'm mesmerized with its hideousness. Congratulations, Bayview Tower, you win the gold medal for ugly!