How Many Pieces of Heavy Equipment Are Parked Along 2nd Ave. Anyway?

Happy Labor Day, laborers! Me, I feel a little weird about celebrating such a holiday since I have no job, but I tell myself that it's actually a day to watch the Jerry Lewis Telethon. Jerry gets just a little more crazy and sincere every year as the quality of acts steadily declines. Once back in the seventies, Jerry got Frank Sinatra to come on and sing. That was at the height of his booking powers, when the telethon lasted a whole 24 hours. These days, it's eight hours long and you're lucky if you see Jan Michael Vincent doing an appalingly bad soft-shoe routine. Still, I love Jerry. He's a comic genius. His films of the sixties contain a host of brilliant moments. But like many comedians, he wanted to be taken seriously. That's when all the trouble started.

Anyhow, speaking of labor, there has been a lot of it along 2nd Avenue. There was just all kinds of everything for the whole week. Then on Friday, they parked their metal monsters and simply walked away. It's been quiet since then - and how nice it's been! But walking along 2nd Ave. has made me curious as to how many pieces of heavy equipment we're hosting here. Let's count them!

OK, from Stewart to Lenora, there's nothing. Zilch. That section of 2nd has seen enough action anyway, so it doesn't change the way we feel about them. But it all starts at Blanchard:

1, 2...

(at Bell Street) 3...

(at another part of Bell Street) 4...

(at Wall Street) 5, 6...

(also at Wall Street) 7, 8...

(at Cedar Street) 9, 10...

(at the other side of Cedar Street) 11. And that's it. Gee, it seemed like there'd be more, but no such luck - 11 pieces of heavy equipment is all you get.

There were also numerous attachments left out like these:


Frankly, I'm a little surprised that a bunch of drunks from Shorty's, out of quarters and bored, didn't unite in purpose and carry one of these things off to somebody's apartment. I guess it didn't happen because, A) Shorty's patrons aren't very strong, and; B) Shorty's patrons aren't that organized.

Lastly, this piece of equipment decorates the block between Wall and Vine:

Yeah, it's right in the middle of the street. You know, these things are known by various brand names: Sani-Kan, Port-o-Let, Porta-Potty, Porta-John and so on. By far, the worst brand name has to be "Honey Bucket." I mean, none of those competitors' names actually hints at the contents of the portable restroom. Honey Bucket goes there. Who came up with that name? It's just such a gross visual image. Ew. Please change it.