Wednesday, November 4, 2009

We Had Us an Election, Didn't We?

Like most of the country, democracy flourishes here to various degrees. Yesterday was once again a chance for us to stand up and be counted. And now we're sending a mostly new crop of humans to address our unsolvable problems. By the way, I might be the only one who dislikes this exclusive "mail-in" election business. Sure, voting is kick in the pants anyway, but I loved going to the Josephenium early on election day and being patient with the wonderfully dyslexic poll workers while they searched and searched for my name, only to find that their hand was covering it the whole time. And then once that was taken care of, I'd go to an available super-wobbly voting "booth" and pray that it didn't collapse while I was filling out my ballot. I miss that. I ask you: where's the human touch? Mail-in only is not as much fun.

OK, so just about everybody I voted for either won or is currently leading. My only loser was Jesse Israel. I knew Nick Licata was gonna win; I was just a bit tired of him being such an obvious contrarian on some council votes. Mike McGinn holds a narrow lead over Joe Mallahan. Mike was my choice, but no matter who wins, one thing is for sure, our new mayor will have an annoying voice. Stealth Republican Susan Hutchison lost to Dow Constantine. Well, good for him - although he could use a better first name. "Dow" is a chemical company and half of an industrial average. I think he should have people call him "Constantine." It's got character. For the record, Susan Hutchison used to come into the Mercer St. Tower Records store a lot when I worked there. She was always quite nice - not personable, not charming, not overwhelmingly sexy (she is a Republican, after all), just nice. Now Dow (brown cow - see, not a good first name!) gets to be the second or third most powerful guy in the state. King County is the richest and most populous, so now we get to push all the other counties around. "Hey, Jefferson County, lose a few pounds! Clallam County, are you really gonna wear that? Jeez, Spokane County, would it kill you to put on some makeup?" I can't wait for that to happen.

Oh, and the initiative from conman Tim Eyman was voted down, as it should have been (but you're still getting paid, Timmy, so don't worry too much about it) and the "everything but marriage" gay rights affirmation is tentatively passing. If it doesn't, I'll be surprised and a bit disappointed with many of my fellow Washingtonians. I understand that there are fears that if this referendum passes, the state patrol will be kicking down the doors of God-fearing Christians and forcing them into a gay lifestyle, but honestly, they might enjoy it.

Other than that, we got Pete Holmes beating the holy living crap out of Tom Carr for city attorney. And a good thing, too. Carr spent his whole term hassling clubs and hindering nightlife. The Crocodile felt strongly enough about the issue to hang Holmes' poster in their window. That's where I took the above picture. So congratulations to all the winners; better luck next time to all the losers and Goodspaceguy, keep trying! This world needs more spacecraft!

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