Wednesday, January 20, 2010

McGuire Scaffold-Watch! Week: ???? + 40

Has it really been 40 weeks? I guess it has. I mean, only a person keeping track of ugly-ass scaffolding could tell you for sure. Well, even less is happening at the McGuire than at the Security House. The dwarf army seems to have blown town again. It might be because of the mole people once more. They're doing a lot of drilling, so it might be dislodging the mole people and bringing them to the surface. Dwarfs and mole people are natural enemies, so they're most likely at war again. That means that nothing on the McGuire gets fixed and the scaffold stays right where it is. But that's OK, because I wouldn't recognize the McGuire at all without its wrap of metal tubing. If I saw it without the scaffold, I'd be all like: "Who are you?" And it would be all like: "I'm the McGuire." And then I'm: "You're not the McGuire. Where's your scaffold?" And it's: "I don't need it when I'm walking around." And I'm: "Sorry dude, I'm not buyin' it. Go back to Bellevue." That's totally what I'd say.


Anonymous said...

I favor a two-pronged approach to save the scaffolding for future generations to enjoy. A two-tiered approach might at first seem more logical, considering scaffolding is the subject at hand, but in my opinion the politicians who need to be persuaded relate better to prongs.

Prong One is that someone who's awake during normal business hours needs to petition the preservation board for historic landmark status for our scaffolding. Yes, OUR scaffolding.

While the city is processing that request for a few years, quickly move to Prong Two: Get the state legislature to declare OUR scaffolding the official state execution site for death row inmates from 50-100 feet tall who prefer to be hanged. I'm quite confident they don't have an adequate facility in Monroe, and McGuire is surely the cheapest potential site currently available on the market. After all, we're all still on the hook for the last time an oversized candidate for hanging sued our fair state for discrimination. Lest we forget, they have a right to choose between hanging and lethal injection after a long and successful killing career. What real choice do the gravitationally underchallenged mass-murderers have when the bell finally tolls for them?

I say let Belltown toll for them! Make it happen, somebody else!

my friend,
brian g - still no relation to kenny. probably even less-so than last time.

Igor Keller said...

Public hangings, eh? That just might work.