Friday, February 12, 2010
Coming Soon to the Moore!
I thought that, with the ordinary-sounding name, this guy had to be some kind of adult-contemporary singer. Back in the 20th century, you couldn't go into showbiz with a run-of-the-mill name like that. Or if it sounded funny. Or too ethnic. And so it was in that manner, Frances Gumm became Judy Garland, Joe Yule Jr. became Mickey Rooney, Roy Scherer became Rock Hudson, Arnold Dorsey became Engelbert Humperdinck, Jerome Levitz became Jerry Lewis, Concetta Franconero became Connie Francis, Bernie Schwartz became Tony Curtis, Mark Vincent became Vin Diesel and Alex Baldwin became Alec Baldwin. But not so with the 21st century. Lots of famous people have ordinary names like Ryan Reynolds and Seth Green and Barack Obama. I thought that Bell was one this new breed of showbiz person. It turns out that he's not a singer-songwriter or even a stand-up comedian. He's head of the Mars Hill Church, which is pretty big in Belltown. I'm told that they worship a metrosexual version of the Jesus. This particular approach also invites you to imagine that everybody in Bible times smelled really good and that the best-smelling of them all, Jesus, would have been cool to hang out with, because you'd probably both show up wearing the same pair of shoes - without even planning it or anything, you and Jesus are wearing the same brand of shoes! The same color, too! How cool is that? As far as religion goes, if it doesn't strive for control with silly rules and strictures and doesn't stoke hatred, I say go right ahead. If snake-handling is your thing, handle snakes - just as long as they don't lock you in a shed for being a sinner. I feel the same way about Mars Hill. If they let you make up your own mind without tons of dogma and offer an appealing view of the afterlife, why not? It's not for me, but somebody else might find it useful. Metrosexual Jesus might work for you, but it also might seem just as lame as any other branch of any other religion.