Thursday, March 4, 2010

In Case You Were Wondering...

The Hard Rock Cafe is open. It's on Pike, between 1st & 2nd, in a space formerly occupied by a porn store and a crooked pawn shop. Observe:
See the sign? Get it? Instead of "walk this way" it's "rock this way." Wow, wordplay! Hey, it's what separates us from the animals. That, and opposable thumbs (even though monkeys have those, too). And fan fiction. And the flamethrower. And hydraulic braking systems. What else? That's it, I guess. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll never go there. If I want a "rock 'n' roll experience," I'll have a real one. I mean, I have enough trouble getting to the V-Bar and they're right across the street!

Speaking of rock 'n' roll bogusness, I finally figured out my clever response to that Eric Clapton phone ad that used to be on TV. I know, I know, they're not showing it any more, but I came up with the perfect retort on the way home from the gym this morning. You know how they're playing that awful bit of pointless nostalgia, "I've Got a Rock 'n' Roll Heart" during the commercial, right? Well, here's the aforementioned clever response: "You've got a rock 'n' roll heart? Really? Well, I guess we'll have to wait for the autopsy to know for sure!" Buh-ZING!! Thank you, I'll be here all week. Where else would I go?

No comments: