This Tree and Why I Hate It

OK, folks, I knew that sooner or later I would have to write this post. Yeah, it's gonna make me sound petty and crazy but here goes. I hate this tree:

I've been hating it for a long time. It's an awful tree. I even know what kind it is - a California incense cedar. First off, it's totally out of place in this neighborhood. It just looks like it doesn't belong. Secondly, I greatly prefer deciduous trees in urban spaces; they provide shade in the summer and let precious, precious light through in the winter. But this stupid tree just stands there and blocks out my light year round. In the winter, it can make things downright gloomy, what with all its light blockage and such. Did I mention that it's right outside my window? It is:

Yeah, there it is and my windows are the lower set to the immediate right. And this is what the view out my right hand window is like (please excuse the dirty window; it's been seven years since the Rivoli paid to have somebody come out and wash the windows, so naturally they're going to be filthy!):

I really hate this tree. Whenever we have a wind storm I always pray that it'll blow down. If it does, I'll get all kinds of light and get to see the Westin again. When I first moved in, the thing was only about 10 feet high. Now it's taller than the building!

And like everything in this crummy neighborhood, it's gotten tagged:

Hey pal, A-1 is only a good name for steak sauces and escort services, not for a dumbass tagger like yourself.

Seriously, one of these nights I'm gonna get liquored up and chop it down, then all will be well. If it's late enough at night, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to dodge the cops. My crazy neighbors at the El Rey probably won't notice all the chopping. They've got troubles of their own.

So there it is. I have unburdened myself of my antipathy for that stupid tree. I'm not against the California incense cedar in general; I just think that it doesn't belong along 2nd Ave. Those are my beliefs. If you don't like them, I have others.