Two Things That Happened

When I left last night for trivia, this was the scene at 2nd & Blanchard:

It seems that the Crocodile - or more precisely, Via Tribunali - caught fire. It happened around 6:00 last night. I was watching The Simpsons and didn't notice a thing. Yeah, it's kind of tough to distract me when Homer's talking. Anyhow, my guess is that Tribunali's wood-fire oven might have gotten a little frisky. Whatever happened, the fire department was required. But by 6:30 - the time I left - everything seemed under control. It's just that the neighborhood smelled like a fireplace. I walked by this morning and there weren't any signs on the Croc about it being closed or whatnot. So I guess we can put this temporary unpleasantness behind us. So that's the first thing.

The second thing is that we won trivia at the Kangaroo & Kiwi last night. In the last five months, we've played four times - and we've won every time. We're careful not to play too often and incur everyone's hatred. But golly, it's a fun quiz. I recommend that everyone experience it. Hey, if we can win it, anybody can.

Trivia Triumph!

Last night, the Christ Punchers returned to the Kangaroo & Kiwi to prove to all that our victory there several weeks ago was no fluke. Long story very short: it wasn't. We won. Victory once again felt like defeat until they announced the final scores. We had a very competent team with two guest stars from Kathleen Turner Overdrive (soon to be Kentucky Fried Panda). This achievement stands in contrast to Dr. Al's and my efforts on Tuesday at Buckley's. Granted, there were only two of us and I'd forgotten how to play the game (specifically, you can double the score of a category you do well in by circling a joker on the answer sheet), but we finished seventh. Yeah, the best thing about us was our name: FartDate.gov. But last night was a different story. We were, as you know, the Christ Punchers and we've just about figured out the quizmaster. When he asks a certain question (generally about science), he's not really interested in the right answer, but instead, he wants the answer that most believe to be true, even though it isn't. There were several like that last night. We caught on late to that, though it didn't matter, because we won anyway. I guess there were 10 or 11 other teams all told. So that's it for me at the K&K till at least June. I'm sure they'll be fine with that. There's nothing worse for open competition than a team that wins all the time. People stop showing up if they know they don't have a chance, no matter how drunk/funny the quizmaster is. For league play, however, constant winning breaks the will of your opponents. That begins again next week - in fact, it's the night before I take off.

Trivia Triumph

It's been a while since I did a trivia update. That's because I've been doing it close to each week with a team competing at Jillian's. We've been doing extremely well, battling for first place and such, and since it's a series, there hasn't been that much to write about. I'm in this weird limbo status between a sub and a real team-guy. They've given me the last two weeks off so they can seek out more subs and frankly, in just that time, I've missed trivia; the feelings of confusion and insignificance you get when you don't know the answer and all that. Well, last night some friends (and friends of a friend) got together at the K&K on Aurora for their quiz. The thing I like about it is there's a real-live guy there (with the wickedest north-Midlands accent ever) who makes it up and gets progressively drunker as the night goes on. Most of last night's questions were simple to the extreme (What month was Pearl Harbor bombed?) and others were nigh impossible (the visual round), but I had no idea how we were doing. Based on our confusion, I ranked us around fourth place; y'know, respectable but out of the running. I mean, the visual round really raked us over the coals. There were a lot of people from Dancing with the Stars and I DO NOT DO that show, because of its utter sad pointlessness. However, credit should be given to my friend Jim who was able to recognize Johnny Carson beneath a lot of obfuscation. And so it went. It all felt like an honorable defeat. When the scores were tallied up, however, we were tied for first with two other teams. What are the odds?? It all came down to the three of the different teams' members giving a spin to the K&K's wheel of fortune. I don't know why they have one, but it's there. The first spin was in the thirties, the second person hit the sixties, I gave it a last mighty pull and landed on 91. Victory was ours - so was 90+ dollars. Totally not bad. I don't feel so awful about missing the years that Lou Piniella became manager of the Mariners (1993; we said 1992) or that the film A Few Good Men came out (1992; we said 1993). Winning smooths away all that. So there.

Incidentally, my Jillian's team scored a season low in my absence last week - 28 points less than our total from the previous outing. We were in first place, and now we're not. But it doesn't really matter. They can score almost nothing tonight and it'll still be fine. We're going to be in the finals next week. We won the grand prize last season (I wasn't there for that; I was just a sub at that point), so we're going to try to make it two in a row. Maybe we'll get lucky and hit the right categories. That's all you need to win.

Well, Finally!

My trivia team has managed to do something rather odd and cool this season - we've led all competitors in total points without winning a single contest. We've had a lot of second places and such. Last week, we were a disappointing seventh and because of that, we briefly relinquished our lead. But last night we finally won. And it certainly didn't feel like a victory until they announced it. It felt more like a fourth place showing. Hey, we'll take it! Not only did we do well, our nearest competitors kind of tanked, so we have more of a cushion. We would have won even without our miraculous guesses - there were several: Andy's guess of Rampage Jackson and mine of the Slim Shady LP by Eminem. FYI, I hate Eminem and never listen to his stuff. We got both the 10-point bonus (the number of films that De Niro has made with Scorsese) and the 21-point end bonus, which was all about film sequels. Still, there was nothing that made it feel like we were steaming along to victory. But that's the way it was. After three consecutive first-place finishes, rivals Super Karate Monkey Death Car went down in defeat. After falling way behind early in the season, they've been kicking ass recently. Not last night, though. If we can muster another win, we can just coast into the playoffs. Anyway, it's really nice to lead AND win.

Trivia: Nothin' To See Here, Folks

Usually, when my efforts at trivia are less than triumphant, I don't report them. But the outcome was so close to brilliance that it requires some reportage. Last night, it was Schultzy's, part 2. This time we had a bigger team, more drinks and everybody (except me) was eating salad and meat. If you'll recall, three of us ventured there in October and won the whole shebang. And, as tradition and practice dictated, we won nothing - not even the admiration of our peers. Yesterday evening, we were six and there was no reason for us not to win. We finished fourth - but we were only three points away from first place. I blame three things:

1. The way, way fucked up music portion of the quiz. It was a name-that-tune, finish-the-lyrics type deal all rolled into one. It was totally confusing. We did poorly.

2. The quizmasters who, for the musical instrument visual round, accepted the response of xylophone for vibraphone. The two are not interchangeable. Yes, they're both mallet instruments, but it's like calling a clarinet a saxophone. We chose correctly, but all those ahead of us identified it as a xylophone and were given credit for it. So it simply wasn't enough that we won a point; it was more important others should lose their points. That didn't happen.

3. Back in the old country, whenever anything goes bad on any sort of level - national, local or personal - my sturdy Ukrainian relatives always blame it on "Russian meddling." That's kind of what happened with one of the answers. The question was about whose quarterback got punched by a fan at the end of a game this weekend after leading his team to a mediocre 6-5 record. I hadn't heard of the incident, but I was strongly favoring Notre Dame. Teammate Yuri suggested UCLA. There was something I didn't like about it, but we went with it anyway. I should have insisted, but the Russian meddling had achieved its desired effort. The answer was indeed Notre Dame. But I would have Yuri on my team any day. He's a nice guy with a well-developed sense of irony. I just have to be aware of the meddling.

And because of those three things we didn't win. Drat.

But I'm really overjoyed that we ran two whole categories (movie lines and musical instruments). I'm also glad that Dr. Al remembered who formulated penicillin. It was a guy named Fleming. So yeah, in case something goes wrong with my throat, I'll go see Dr. Al about it, because he knows his medical pioneers. It was a little disappointing that we didn't know Canada's highest mountain, Mt. Logan. We said Mt. Yukon, because why not? I think I might be done with Schultzy's. It's a fun place and they have excellent pimento cheese fries, but I'm looking for some fiercer opponents and more competent quizmasters. Our outing at the Kangaroo & Kiwi was satisfying (except for all the cheating that the other teams were doing) and fun. There's also a Monday night quiz at Belltown Pizza. That's a possibility, too. I'll try to steer us in those directions in the future.

The Trivia Triumphs Continue!

I can't believe I haven't written about this till now. It should have been my first post, fer Pete's sake! I guess I was in such a state of bliss that clean forgot about it or something. OK, so last night I was again playing the part of alternating sub at Jillian's trivia when, by the time the final bonus round was upon us, I became the ringer sub. The category was the Simpsons, more specifically, celebrities who voiced themselves on the show through the years. They would put a picture up on the video screen and you had to identify it. It being the 21-point bonus round, if you answered wrong, they would deduct from the team's score. It was completely easy. We ran the category and took the contest by a single point. That earned us a whopping $55. Not only that, but the team secured a top-four playoff berth - it's actually a trivia series, not just a one night stand. So that happened. It was really gratifying, especially since I had done little to aid the team up until that point. But the categories were pretty tough: TV series anagrams, random indie rock songs from 25 years ago till present and things like that. OK, I did do pretty well on the Seattle sports stars category. Yes, I know what Warren Moon looks like. Good for me. The only one we missed was Gus Williams, and he totally looked different from his playing days. I'm pretty sure everybody missed it. It doesn't matter. We won. Ah, sweet victory!

My career stats with these guys (who really have a terrible team name, but for certain reasons will not change it to the Christ Punchers) is 8th place (my first time out with them), 5th place, 1st place, 3rd place, 1st place. Not too bad. I think they're wheeling in the really big guns for the playoffs. I don't mind. This particular quiz is really quite difficult, which is why it's so cool to win. If I could find pop music, movie and puzzle nerds I could field my own team. But that's something for the future file. At present, I can't even round up enough people to compete at Buckley's.

Trivia Triumph, Part Googleplex

How was trivia at Jillian's? Gosh, so nice of you to ask! Well, by some miracle authored by Jesus or Allah, we won. I'm not sure how we accomplished it, because we were correcting another team's answers and they were kicking our asses until the very last round. Particularly dismal was the round when we had to match the hip-hop lyrics with the hip-hop artist. Basically, that's my nightmare category. Through sheer guesswork, we got four out of ten. We did well on everything else (like the "name the movie that features Seattle" and the "name the person who has an American city for a last name" categories), but I still don't see how we won. Well, I'm not questioning anyone's wisdom or ability to add a simple string of numbers. I'm basking in the warm rays of victory! Oh, and unlike Schultzy's, we did win money - it just about covered my bar tab. So after two agonizing tries - and finishes of 8th and 5th place - we now celebrate a victory and we move up in the overall standings. Hooray for us!

Sorry that I didn't take any pictures. I was too busy taunting our opponents.

The Passion of the Christ Punchers

I got the call to trivia action a few days ago. The place would be Schultzy's on University Way (no, I don't call it the "Ave;" the only "Ave" for me is 2nd and sometimes 5th), the day would be Tuesday and the time, if that's an important detail for you, would be 8:00. Our team, bearing the now-standard moniker, the Christ Punchers, would be understrength. We would only have three this evening: Dr. Al, Dr.(?) Cara and non-Dr. Igor. We drank and answered questions, then drank more and answered more questions. This went on for some two hours. Dr. Al came through in spectacular fashion when he named 1989 San Francisco earthquake. It's the Loma Prieta, by the way. He also had a few other clutch answers. The only other team that was smaller than ours sat across from us - just two guys. They finished 16th out of 18 teams. The bottom two teams left early, so yeah, those two came in last place. As for us, it was close, but we won. What did we get for this achievement? Recognition and diddly squat else. What a gyp! Every single trivia contest I've ever competed in has offered something. Not Schultzy's. We didn't even get a free sausage! OK, so we won. Big deal! Pardon my materialism, but I want something to show for triumphing over 17 other teams of "normals;" a plaque, a medal or a stress ball - something!

This Thursday, I'm subbing for a team at Gillian's. It'll be my third time with them. The questions are very tough and the opposing teams are fantastically good. We haven't won yet - which is why I've never mentioned my exploits there - but we keep moving up. I think our greatest impediment to victory is the name. If we'd just change it from Heir of the Dog to the New Christ Punchers, we might do a lot better. It's worth a try. I mean, it couldn't hurt.

Trivia Semi-Triumph!

Trivia is one of the few things I'm good at, so I'm always on the lookout for a place where I can kick my mad skillz freestyle, yo. There are a few bars around Belltown, most notably Buckley's, that have trivia nights, but last night, my friend Al, David, Bill, Al's colleagues Cara and Tanya and myself were at the Kangaroo & Kiwi for their contest of wits. It's right by Green Lake, see:

Oh yeah, it's supposed to be a bar for our good friends from Oceania, but none of them was around. The place totally belonged to the natives. I got there first. It was an hour before start time and every single table had already been claimed. We managed to snag a railing of sorts and assemble some stools. The company was pleasant and the wine was red. Before long, the match started. It was run by this British Midlander-guy. He was quite amusing. Once again, we took the name "Christ Punchers" (our host pronounced it as "Chrehst Poonchus") and hoped for the best. Some of our opposing teams were really quite large. One of them must have had at least 15 people aboard. There were six of us.

The questions weren't that bad. Some were a little tricky, but we could put in a good, educated guess without sounding too dumb. There was also a round of pictures to identify. And so the evening passed. The five rounds took about two and a half hours to get through, but at the end of it, we came in second, which won us $55. We gave most of it to David, who bought us some chow and we left with about $5 apiece. The first-place team was one of those "economy-sized" units; they had at least a dozen people, perhaps more, so yeah, no fair. I think what set us apart from the rest of the field were the answers Peru, 1991, 9 and Belgium. My experience with placing second is that if and when I return, I'll get first place. Someday we might. It was a lot of fun, although a lot of people were cheating with iPhones. I highly recommend it. It's a fine place, except that the waitress kept coming over and taking my wine away. She did it like three times - and each glass was nearly full! Anyhow, it's still a nice place. Just make sure and get there extra-early for a table.

Buckley's Trivia Triumph 2

Sorry about the repeat photo here, but I didn't bring along my camera to last night's quiz at Buckley's. I didn't see the point. I figured that we got lucky last week when we took 2nd, but that this week, we'd finish somewhere in the middle of the pack after many drinks and laughs. Gosh, how incorrect I was!

I had a new team with a new name. Last week, it was Andy, Robert and me as the Karate Skids (Andy came up with that one, of course) and this time around, it was Jen, Jen's friends Joya and Laura, their friend Martin and me. We were the Christ Punchers. From the get-go, I was in a quandry. They were asking all kinds of questions I knew nothing about. Although I'm a musician, I do horribly in the music category, because I really haven't been paying attention to pop music for the last 15 years. Thanks to some great team knowledge, we were hanging in 4th place after the first few rounds. Then something really great happened: we got seven of eight racial slur questions (all very mild) and seven of eight eighties movie audio questions. The last round was general trivia. It was where we broke through last week and seized 2nd from our worthy opponents. This week, all was confusion. The quiz-master people were asking questions wrong and various other difficulties arose. We emerged from round eight broken and bitter individuals. I was positive that a respectable 4th place finish was the reward for our efforts. I was incorrect. We ended up winning. I have no idea how. The people at the table across from us were so serious and smart-looking. How did we ever defeat them? I'm not demanding a recount, but I just don't see how.

So we won $50 in gift certificates and the respect of our peers. And I wasn't even planning on playing this week. I was going to rest my brain and play poker. Look how well that worked out! Next week I'll be back again. But this time I'm completely sure that we won't win squat. I mean, who gets lucky like that three times in a row?

Trivia at Buckley's

I got in on trivia night at Buckley's for the first time yesterday eve. It's only been going on a few weeks, but last night it was us - Andy, Andy's affable smoker-friend, Robert, and me - vs. 16 other teams. We took second. And it was a close second. The winning team developed an overwhelming lead with the music category, which was not our strong suit. However, we rocked the very last round, general trivia. We walked away with a cool $25 (in gift certificate form) and the comforting knowledge that our brains are strong. I had some assistance from "smart juice" (house red wine), but everybody else on my team was a non-drinker. This special tonic opened my mind and expanded my consciousness to the point where I was even getting sports questions right.

As for the hosts, they were pretty good. The guy was just smarmy enough and his lovely assistant totaled the scores accurately. We'll be making a return visit in two weeks, with a new name - the Christ Punchers - and hopefully somebody who knows something about music from the last ten years. We'll be the ones to beat.