Seriously, Fountain Court?

In the past, I've felt the need to object to some of the Fountain Court's self-promotion. After 19 years in this neighborhood, it seems ridiculous that people are still trying to bill Belltown as "sophisticated living" - complete with all the cool urban trappings enjoyed by our favorite celebrity metrosexuals in other, better cities. It couldn't possibly be about bad smells, crazy people and idling buses. No, no - in Marketing World, Belltown means big martinis, dusky-eyed women and shopping - something for everyone. Honestly, I don't know where these people get such ideas. Have they ever been to Belltown? Well, they've gotten into the stock photography again and made another silly poster. Observe:

Oh, so that's what downtown living is all about - coffee. You sure can't get that anywhere else. What better reason to move into the Fountain Court? They can totally hook you up with coffee. Wow, somebody actually made this poster thinking that it would strike a chord among the people whizzing by on 4th Avenue. I declare this a FAIL - and a pretty hilarious one at that.

Oh, and another thing. Like I wrote in this previous post, the Fountain Court is not downtown. In fact, it's about as much downtown as it is in Ballard. Even burb dwellers know that.

I Can Think of Two Things Wrong with This Sign

I was just walking past the Fountain Court, which occupies the entire block between Battery & Wall and 4th & 5th. It's really a massive place that has managed to kill a whole city block by not including retail of any kind. That's right, the units go right down to the sidewalk. Reaction to the Fountain Court was so negative back when it was built in the nineties that the city passed zoning laws making that kind of design illegal in Belltown. Honestly, the city should have seen that kind of thing coming, but Seattle is a place legendarily lacking of foresight, so that's just the way we roll. OK, so I was walking by there today and saw this sign. It's supposed to get people amped about living at the Fountain Court (if you call that livin'!):

First of all, this is not downtown, it's Belltown. Anybody who doesn't know the difference should be sent to one of those FEMA reeducation camps. Downtown has tall buildings, plentiful retail and few actual residents; Belltown has crazy people, ugly buildings and nice restaurants. Secondly, contrary to what this poster implies bass players DO NOT congregate in Belltown - and especially not around the Fountain Court. This is a fact.

I close with a photo of the actual fountain and the actual court:

I'm told that the sound of the fountain covers up the wails of the ghostly lost souls who wander the hallways.