This Also Happened - 1

Around Christmas during my hiatus, enroute to Denny Park, this caught my eye:

Yeah, a broken window that large is a little tough to ignore. I tried my best but did not succeed. The window belongs to a run-down storefront garage a few doors away from Bad Animals Studio on 4th, between Blanchard & Bell. Somebody must have felt like breaking something and this window was in range. It's fixed now, but I'm still a little perplexed as to why this place was slated for mayhem. I mean, there are so many nicer places that have windows. Were they hoping to make the ugliest section of 4th Avenue even uglier or was it more of a spontaneous thing? I don't think robbery was a motive, because there are cars along the street day and night. It doesn't make sense to break into a garage in order to break into a car when you can just break into a car. My theory is that there was a brick-throwing contest and things got out of hand. That's the only way I can explain it.

This Also Happened - 2

The Grandview at 3rd & Blanchard got tagged!

What will we tell the children? Well, we can start with a tale of terrible graffiti. Even by the low, low standards of tagging, this is some terrible work. Hey Mr. Dumbass Tagger, life is short. Make your tags count. Of course, it was gone within a day and the Grandview appears to have never suffered such an indignation. It just looms there, indifferent to human suffering. Observe:

This is the first time I've noticed how very beige the place is. Sure, I've been aware that it's a beige building for some time now, but its beigeness didn't impact me until this moment. And now, its beigness seems an inspiration to all things beige in all parts of the world.

After Hours

XS. Silikonoviye mozgi (Silicone brain)

OK, here's the deal: last week's Ukrainian music run yielded some really wild stuff, but it was in Russian. Ukrainian pop groups generally sing in both languages, so this week I'll feature the Russian side of Ukrainian music. Today's offering is from XS. Wait a second, is that the same group that was in last week's video with that nutty Skriabin guy singing in Ukrainian? Yes, but if I'm not mistaken that XS and this one contain none of the same personnel. Gosh, are singers that interchangeable over there? Anyhow, from the context of the video, you can kind of guess that this tune isn't really about brains at all. It's really about getting breast implants. I like the whole hyper-commercial look and feel. Things that read "for adults only," "XS is the #1 group,"super-hit" and "Moskvich 2140 SL, 5000 hrivny" (that a model of car and what it costs in Ukrainian currency). And there's even a little bit of (completely unnecessary) rapping by MC Tamerlane. How about that? You know, for a country with a very large inferiority complex, the Ukrainians can really do glossy, overtly suggestive videos really well.

New Year, New Places: Part 1

Well, it's about time, guys!

The Night Kitchen is now open for business on Stewart, between 2nd & 3rd, where Entre Nous (may they rest in peace) used to be. They were originally supposed to open on Halloween. I'm thinking that maybe they wanted to wait till they cleared their liquor license. This being the State of Washington, you could grow a beard down to your knees during that time. So you can't get booze there for the moment. Big deal! The place is open all night! Their hours are something like 6pm-9am.

I just hope that their clientele is better than sketchy. Or crazy. I have a feeling that only the sketchy and crazy are out at 3:00 on a Wednesday morning.

I'm planning on paying them a visit one day this week post-gym. I'll let you know how it goes.

New Year, New Places: Part 2

Yeah, terrible name. From the looks of it, they're striving for class. Good luck with that! Minnie's did no such thing and they survived for at least 20 years. Whym tried to improve slightly on that concept and was gone in five months. There is no magic formula.

All I can tell you is that many found Minnie's a wonderful place to hang out. They were open round the clock, so you could stay there for hours. Their food was always moderately terrible, but it was relatively cheap. Me, I kind of hated the place, but legions of people did not. Whym, of course, wasn't around long enough to make an impression on anybody. Let's hope that Blush will appeal to massive amounts of people - so much so that the name will no longer sound dumb.

New Year, New Places: Part 3

This place is going in right across the street from me (where Velocity Art & Design used to be) here at the 2nd & Blanchard vortex:

It might be called Respect the Magic. You know, I'd be pretty excited if it was a magic store - as the name kind of suggests - but no, it's a tattoo parlor. How do I know? Well, there's this sign:

They're not quite open yet, but when they are, anybody can leave Belltown with a souvenir of their binge drinking - in tattoo form! I recommend the burning skull. By my reckoning, this is Belltown's only tattoo shop since the one over Dennis' Murder Mart at 2nd & Bell closed last year. You'd think that what with all the weekend drunkenness around here, there'd be tons of tattoo places to take advantage of that, like in Pioneer Square. Well, this is the first - perhaps of many. Me, I see no point in ink. That's just me. Some people look good with tattoos. But they also generally look good without tattoos. I scoff at the self-expression argument that many who have lots of random tattoos make. Self-expression doesn't extend itself to a rendering of Betty Boop on one's arm. If you want to really express yourself, write a freakin' novel. Tattoos are merely vanity. Hey, if it's so important as to be permanently inked onto your skin, you can probably write a play or a song about it, no?

Anyhow, regardless of my feelings about tattoos, I'm sure they'll be very good across-the-street neighbors. They'll also probably be a pretty good source of revenue for the V Bar. Gosh, I hope that place stays open! I'm doing my part by going there as often as I can.

So welcome to the neighborhood, tattoo merchants!

Oh, the Humanity!

It's not all new places and optimistic forecasts, sweet people. There was one closure worth noting. It was this place called Designed Dinners at 2nd & Denny. Here's what it looks like now:

It was an interesting concept; it was basically a take-and-bake dinner place. Their menu sounded pretty yummy. But alas, it was not for Belltown. This wasn't their only storefront; there are three others further afield. Perhaps they're doing better out in the burbs. I'm just thinking that if this was 10 years ago, this place would be booming. Nobody had any time, because they were all becoming dotcom millionaires. Now everybody's unemployed and surly.

As you can see, there's already a liquor license application in the window, so somebody's got a plan. Perhaps they're hoping that people will come in and drink their troubles away. It's worked many times before. The only problem is that building already has a bar in it. It's called the Bandit Bar and it's right around the corner. The building is really new, so the place can't be a dive without looking ridiculous. My advice to the new entrepreneurs is to try to be the biggest dive in Belltown. We're talking bad wiring, exposed nails, weak plumbing and sticky tables. Make it look like your renovation is only about half complete. That is what I advise.

Your Sunday Squirrel

I took this picture last summer and have always meant to feature it. I've always thought that there was something very sinister about this little guy. It's almost like he's saying, "I've got you where I want you, human. Soon all your peanuts shall be mine! Bwahaha!" I know that squirrels aren't capable of such evil thoughts (all evil squirrels live in Russia), but it's fun to imagine that scenario. Most of the time, they just think about climbing trees. They do that really well.

After Hours

Ruslana. Oy zahray my muzichenku (Hey, play for me(??))

You know, when I think of Ukrainian music, I always imagine people krunking on tropical beaches. Ukrainian pop week ends with Ruslana, who has a magnificent voice. Unfortunately, she's kind of totally not hot. It's a shame, because Ukraine contains scads of beautiful women. Too bad that Ruslana isn't part of that. Anyhow, I don't know exactly what the song's title means. My Ukrainian dictionary powerfully sucks, so it tells me nothing. I'm looking forward to featuring French and Russian language pop again. At least I understand their song titles. In the meantime, please enjoy this video.

Happy New Year!

Here's 17 seconds of the Space Needle exploding:

I tried to add a few bars of "Auld Lang Syne," but it turns out that Macs are super-retarded when dealing with cell phone video. So for now, enjoy the sounds of the fireworks and all the drunks screaming at the sky.

Anyhow, this decade just has to be better than the last.